We Are All Frauds

In a world filled with mediums that let us show who we want to be, it can be difficult to truly know someone. Let’s talk about this. Why are we all frauds, and how can we fix it!

Podcast Transcript

Let’s talk about this fun topic of being a fraud. Sounds great? Right! We all love to admit when we aren’t really being the person we say we are, or want to be. Not that we intentionally set out to do this, sometimes, it just happens. And maybe fraud is too harsh of word, but this is exactly what I felt like a few months ago. First…a definition! You knew it was coming!! Fraud is deceit, trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage, OR a particular instance of such deceit or trickery:

 Let me give you an example. Earlier this summer I spoke to a group at my work about Something Better, My Darling. As I was preparing for the presentation, I had this overwhelming sense of being a fraud. Here I was going to stand up and talk about being the creator of Something Better, My Darling and I realized I started this two years ago… And I’m in the same place. Maybe not the exact same place but I have this overwhelming sense of being a fraud. How am I going to tell these ladies to follow their dreams and do what they want to do when I am still working, my normal 8-to-5 and have slowed down on social and podcasts and everything else because life got busy. Remember I did a podcast about being busy and that if you were too busy to do what you wanted, you weren’t prioritizing your time correctly. I might have been wrong. 

The thing is, we are all in different seasons of our life, and each of those seasons comes with different challenges and obstacles that take our time. And some of them have to be a priority for the health of our family and children. Some of them take priority for the moment to simply move life forward. This is what happened to me. I was full steam ahead with Something Better, My Darling. I got tested with a really rough relationship that was short and completely caught me off guard. And the turmoil it brought really stopped me in my tracks. I have now way to describe him other than a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And I am not trying to be dramatic here. He was not a good man, but from what the outside world saw, he was supposed to be the best. A true fraud. In every way possible. Anyway, that took so much of my energy that I could not find time for my passion, and that wasn’t good either. After that brief moment, I did meet Bill. The polar opposite of the wolf. I did not want to meet Bill. I wanted nothing to do with him when he approached me. I had no faith left that people weren’t frauds. I met Bill at the Panther in Cedar Falls. I was out with some co-workers and he was persistent. In a good way. I told him that I only dated by committee because I assumed he would not be up for the round of questioning the girls were about to give him. I was wrong. LOL! He passed. Clearly! And truly the rest there is history as we are getting married this fall! However, this relationship too, has take my time. Not in bad way, but I am trying to relearn how to not be single. I had so much time when I was single to work on Something Better, My Darling. I had nights, I had mornings, I had full weekends….and now. I don’t have all of that. I am not mad at all! I absolutely love Bill and the life we are building for us and our children together. However, it is why I feel like a fraud at times. And why I feel like I possibly was out of line when I released my ‘busy’ podcast. I didn’t have perspective. Well, I had one perspective, but not all of them. I am not sure I have all of them now. All I know is that I should give more grace to myself, and others working on their passion while juggling full-time jobs, husbands, kids, sports, and everything else the world is throwing at them. At you! 

So why do I say we are all frauds? I am not saying that to be mean, but to hopefully give you another perspective and to let you know that you are not alone! We are all doing the best we can. We are barely making it some days. And other days we are rocking it! We know the social media of the world doesn’t help us here. They help with some things, but not this. Don’t let that be your barometer, because we know that generally only the good and amazing go on the socials. LOL. 

Let’s talk about what to do about this situation we have ourselves in. Yep! I’m putting in you this lovely fraud life with me. Here is what I think we should do. 

1. As I said before. Give yourself some grace. Each season of life has its challenges that could be taking you away from some joys or passions. That is okay. Figure out how to fit in a few minutes for that passion and joy when you can. I might not be the 30 minutes or hour you want. But 5 minutes is okay too. 
2. Don’t give up. If God put it in your heart, it is there for a reason. All I have to do get that bubbly feeling in my heart and chest again, is this. Write a podcast. Talk to a woman who needs a push in finding her nudge. Because when I do…it is so good!! So much joy and happiness just fills my soul!
3. Be transparent. I hear people talk about being authentic, which is good. But transparent to me is a new level. This means opening yourself up. For me, even though he was my catalyst, I don’t like to acknowledge Dejan at times because it makes me feel so stupid! Listen to my podcast ‘the Catalyst’ for that story!) I mean really…who does that!? But you know what, women need to know and hear that. We are all silly at times, and it shapes us and makes us. Being transparent means not being a fraud, laying it all out there and letting the pieces fall. 
4. Lastly, you still need to take action. Don’t let the fear creep back in because you feel like you’re not going fast enough. If its God’s will, you’re on a freight train and nothing will stop it. However, remember that God’s time is not our time. So no, it might not happen as fast as we want, but it will happen. You can’t stop believing and having faith in that! But yes, you did still need to take action! Keep doing what you can, when you can.

I believe if we can do those 3 things, we will reach our goals, live out our passions, and not be frauds. Because we aren’t, we just feel like them sometimes.