Regrets.

Regrets. Or ‘not’ regrets…which list is longer? Listen as I talk about types of regrets and how to kick them for 2023.

Podcast Transcript
Hello 2023! I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas and New Year celebration. Now, I’d like to talk about regrets. Hahaha! No, this isn’t because we just came off of holiday and possibly eating and drinking too much. Actually, I did not have this topic on my radar at all to talk about, but then I was listening to one of the marketing podcasts I listen to that is based on behavioral science. In this episode of “Nudge,”the host, Phill Agnew, was talking with best-selling author, Daniel Pink, about regret and I haven’t been able to shake thinking about it. so…this means I will talk to you all about it! Full disclosure, I started working on this podcast in mid-December. Then you guessed. Christmas, frozen water pipes bursting, and birthdays ruled the next few weeks for me. I am working on this now as I listen to my daughter organizing our bathroom closet and drawers and my son play Fornite with his cousin. And bless my daughter’s heart for cleaning and organizing, but I won’t be able to find my stuff for a few days now. LOL. Okay, back to regrets. Many times when people talk about regrets, they talk about something they wish they didn’t do and it is very surface level. Like, I wish I didn’t eat so much pizza last night, or I regret having that last drink. However, there are many studies that prove that people have many more regrets over what they didn’t do instead of what they did do! And, the older we get, the more we have regrets of not doing something. As soon as I heard this, I paused and started thinking about if I had regrets. Because I had always thought of them the other way, in terms of what I wished I had not done. And in that case, I would say I didn’t have any because all of my regrets were lessons. But…when we flip it and talk about regrets in terms of the steps or actions we didn’t take, whew. That hits differently. That hits hard. That makes me think and then I have many more regrets than I thought I did. I’m going to pause and let you think about this for a minute… Both sides. Regrets of something you did, and of something you didn’t do. Which list is longer?   

And, now put that on top of a new year starting, which usually triggers most of us to think about goal setting, accomplishments, etc…I don’t generally like to look back because it can be discouraging. Sometimes it can be encouraging, but I guess it depends what type of mood I’m in. Ha! My point here is to not make you discouraged or for you to think about all of the things you wish you had done to make you feel icky. My point here is to try to help you prevent this feeling moving forward. How do we take the action, take the chance, do the things, ask the questions, make the move, say yes, say no, so we don’t have these types of regrets? My cursor is blinking at me as I am thinking about the best way to do this. Thinking about how I try my best to take action and do the scary steps so I don’t have regrets of not taking action. As I mentioned earlier, I have a lot of lessons learned, but I don’t regret those lessons. I do regret not waking up in the morning when my alarm goes off and missing a miracle morning. I do regret not taking the 10 minutes to do my reading or journaling for the day. I do regret no meal planning and having to grab something from work’s desperation cafe. I do regret not listening to my nudge when I first had it. I do regret not trusting my gut enough. But in the past two years, I have learned how to minimize my ‘nots.’ Here is what I have done. 

1. I do the Miracle Morning. Non-negotiable. Days I am running behind or have to cut corners on this, I can tell a HUGE difference in my attitude and mood. 
2. I stopped caring so much about what others think. Notice I say ‘so much,’ because as the girl who tried to make everyone happy, this is a hard one for me and it will continue to take time. Yes, I still think about this and do worry, but I have been better about thinking about what is best for my family and me. This is my life, not theirs. Same for you all. You’re the only one living your life. Don’t put so much weight in what others are thinking and saying. 
3. I listen to my gut. I still do not like the word gut, which is why I say ‘nudge’ but, I realize it is common and understood to say listen to your gut. God gave you energy and signals in your body for a reason. Listen to them. Stop ignoring your ‘signs’ and messages. Stop and listen to what your body is telling you. And if you don’t know. Ask. Ask for your sign or symbol. I have shared before, but mine is a butterfly or the number 114. There are so many occasions when I have asked to see my signs to give me direction, and God does. Remember, you need to be clear in your ask. For example, please show me one of my signs in the next 24 hours if you want me to xxx. If you don’t see your sign, then the answer is ‘no.’ This no might not be a forever ‘no,’ but more of a ‘not right now.’ 
4. Do nothing out of fear. This is a Deanism. Papa Dean is Lauras’ dad. Laura is one of my best friends and Papa Dean passed away a few years ago. He had the best sayings or ‘Deanisms.’ He would often tell Laura to never do something out of fear, which she in turn has passed to me. Fear should not be your motivator. If you’re doing it out of fear, it is not coming from the right place. It needs to come from a place of passion, need, desire. Those will last and fuel you. Fear will only paralyze you. 
5. Read and listen to podcasts. This might seem odd, but gaining knowledge on business, entrepreneurship (which if you can spell that right the first time, gold star!)relationships, and so many other topics I need to be successful has truly helped me build the confidence I need to keep moving forward. Podcasts are my favorite. I listen to them while I get ready for work and in my drive time. It is amazing to hear stories about start-ups or missions and how they people didn’t give up and kept pursuing their passion. This might look different for you, but anyway for you to build your knowledge in the areas you need to succeed at your dream is what will help. It could be a class, a webinar, maybe a mentor can help you. Whatever it looks like, do it!
6. Find your support system. A cheerleader even! There will be times you will want to give-up. Even if your bones tell you to keep going, Don’t give up. This is where your support system, your cheerleaders come in. Have them help you with your challenge, an outside perspective can be so helpful. And if you just need them to tell you to keep going because you are a rockstar at what you are doing, let them do that too! I am so thankful to have my cheerleaders. And guess what, this support system will grow as you continue to make connections. Sometimes all it takes is a message from someone I’ve helped (perfectly timed of course…thank you Jesus!) to keep pushing me forward. 
7. And lastly, stop being so darn hard on yourself! I realize the irony in me saying this since we all know that we are our own worst critics. But seriously, knock it off. Give yourself some grace and credit for the stride’s you’ve made. I will share this with you because you know I believe in transparency. Last year I started to put one ad in my podcasts. Just one. I have made, to date, $6.43. LOL. Nope, not quitting my day job just yet. I share this, because it would be so darn easy to get down on myself for this, but you know what, I am not focusing on making money on the podcast. I am focusing on fueling women to achieve their goals. So I can’t be upset about this. Now, if making money on the podcast was my sole focus for last year, then yes, maybe I could take a few punches. LOL. But, please, take it easy on yourself this year. 

Okay, my darlings, a quick recap of how to work on minimizing our regrets of the actions we don’t take. Or ‘not’ regrets.

1. Do the Miracle Morning.
2. Stop caring so much about what others think. 
3. Listen to your gut.
4. Do nothing out of fear.
5. Learn!
6. Find a support system.
7. Stop being so hard on yourself.

Easy peasy my darlings! And, that is all I have for you right now! Now go and make 2023 your best year yet!