Lost

Lost. I have been lost before. Physically and emotionally. Neither are fun. This podcast is all about being lost and how we can get back on the right path! It also talks a little bit about the good ways of getting lost! That is my favorite part!

Podcast Transcript

Welcome back to the Something Better, My Darling podcast. I am here to help women find their purpose without compromising their values, and ultimately reach their full potential. Whether you are struggling with self-worth, confidence, or lack of taking action, this is for you!  I am so excited you are here! I can’t wait to get to know you! And if you are enjoying this podcast, please be sure to share this with a friend or send me a note on what you’d like to hear or how I can help you!

Have you ever been lost? Or lost something you loved? I am sure the answer is yes. At the very least you probably couldn’t find your keys or cell phone which can be very stressful. Especially if you’re running late! I am always late. I seriously think it is a disease. Wait, I’m going to google it a minute. Yes! It is a thing! Not a disease, but it is called Chronic Lateness Disorder and  According to psychologist Dr. Pauline Wallin, “people who are chronically late are often wrestling with anxiety, distraction, ambivalence, or other internal psychological states”. Okay – that is a complete squirrel moment, but there you go! Clearly I get distracted so I have a strong case for being diagnosed with Chronic Lateness Disorder. I’ve also heard that losing your cell phone can cause the same feelings as a life or death situation. Crazy! But you are all now thinking about a time when you lost your cell phone and were panicked. 

Back to being lost. I truly believe that many people feel like this most of their lives. Lost, without direction. Oh you know it is coming, a definition! My best friend, Merriam-Webster Dictionary says lost is:

• Unable to find one’s way; not knowing one’s whereabouts
• unable to be found 
• Denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered
• having perished or been destroyed
• A game or contest in which a defeat has been sustained

All of those definitions are frightening to me. The idea of actually being lost and not having any clue where you are or how to get back to where you came from, or get to where you are going. In the physical sense, that is an awful, helpless feeling. In the emotional sense, it is just as bad. While your feeling of safety might not feel threatened, your emotional well-being certainly does. This definition is the one that resonates with me most in terms of the work I do with women. I was lost before Something Better, My Darling. I was floating, just doing all of the things I thought had to do, but I wasn’t really living out my purpose. I was lost. I was sitting comfortably in my home, my mind, my heart, and my soul were searching and searching as if I had lost them, or they had lost me. The worst part, I didn’t know how lost I was until I found my passion. Then I felt silly, like how did I not see this for so many years? But I had to take a few different paths, a different roads to teach me everything I needed to know before I could be found, or before I could find my way. 

And even after I found this path, it doesn’t mean that we don’t stray, that we still don’t get lost sometimes. Lost in the business of the day to day. Lost in the business of being a mom. Lost in the business of being a caregiver. Lost in the business of full-time jobs. And this list could go on for an entire podcast of its own! I did a podcast about being busy, and I do believe that we can choose some of our busy. While some we cannot, some we can, but we don’t like to. Believe me, I have not done well at choosing my busy lately, clearly, since you all haven’t heard a podcast from me in a while. That was me being lost in all the other busy. We bought a new home, moved, are trying to sell two homes, fix up another rental, kids are back in school, work travel is back, all the ‘busy’ is back. Today I chose to not be lost in the busy. I chose to leave the kitchen full of items I need to unpack from Sam’s club, I chose to not start laundry or empty the dishwasher, and I chose to do online church. I am not saying any of these are bad ways to spend your time, but for me, when I am lost in the busy and I don’t get to spend time working with women and encouraging women, I feel SO LOST. Emotionally lost. I cry more. I am less fulfilled. I am frustrated because I don’t feel like I am doing what Jesus made me to and I never want to disappoint Him. I was feeling another definition of lost, like I had lost my ability to balance mom, work, boyfriend, and this…and that was so frightening to me. Granted, I am also not a super patient person which is where some of my feelings of loss and anxiety come in. I was feeling lost with Something Better, My Darling. Lost like I was losing my insights and guidance, losing my time to pour into the business, losing my ideas…all of those overwhelming feelings of being utterly and completely lost. Then I had a melt down. Cried a lot. Took a deep breath. Prayed. Meditated. And realized, it is all okay. I am not lost. I am a normal person balancing a lot of items and I needed to restructure my days. Put up a few boundaries. Be willing to say no. And figure out how to manage my new normal. And not get lost in the minutiae of the day to day, which trust me, I know is very difficult. I have been stuck in it for the past few months! Not just stuck, but lost in it, overwhelmed by it, and all the other scary words! Maybe you’re feeling lost, or maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and don’t know why. I want you to do a few things for me. And really I say this as a reminder to myself. And I listed these a few moments ago, but will take it a step further. 

1. Process it. This is the nice way of saying, do whatever you need to do to get it out. This is always crying for me. I am an emotional person and the only way I can get all of my feelings whether they are happy, sad, angry, scared, etc… it so cry. Maybe you much healthier than me and need to exercise. Go for it! Or maybe you need to eat a pint of ice cream. Super! Shopping? Buy something cute? Massage? I don’t care, well, I do, just doing anything harmful okay??? But please process it and let it out. Its okay! I promise. 
2. I am going to lump these next three together because truly they all work together for me. Deep breathing, praying, and meditating. There is nothing that centers me faster than these combined. It could be 4 minutes, it could be 20. I always, always, feel better and like I am on the right path after this. 
3. Restructure, or structure. You all know I am a planner. Or if this is your first time listening, maybe you don’t know that. LOL. Well, I am a planner and I really like to get things done. I had my miracle morning and my schedule down! I mean, I could tell you the exact times and how long each thing would take! I guess I also like schedule and routine. But this summer blew that up. Like an atomic bomb blew it up. But in a good way. We bought a different home, moved, became a family of 6 with two dogs, had a teenager living with us full-time, blending families, work changes beyond belief, and you know…all the other things. And feeling lost with the business. Feeling like I might need to adjust and change the approach, feeling lost in knowing what to do. My schedule as I knew it was gone. It was lost. I was lost. I will not say I have it all restructured yet. I am figuring it out. How do I give everyone the time they need, plus make sure I have my time to pour into you all?? I have to be intentional about my time, about every minute. I can’t get lost in the day to day, because that doesn’t matter. It will always be there. As Bill tells me about many things in our life, it will all get done. But remember, I’m not the patient one. 
4. Boundaries and saying “No.” Yep, literally one of the hardest things for me to do. Yes, I have actually gotten MUCH better at this in the past year or two, but it is still hard for me. I do still like to make people happy. While I do not do it at the extreme expense of myself like I used to, it is still a work in progress. Feeling obligated is probably the worst for me. I still have a certain level of feeling obligated to do things, and setting that boundary or saying no is difficult. I can tell you I am working on this. But at the end of the day, you and I both need to figure out how to manage our purpose, our passion, along with all of the other obligations of the world. The world won’t stop demanding things from us. It won’t. We have to set the boundaries and candance for our purpose and to make sure we don’t get lost. 

Okay, but, but, but, there are a few times it is okay to get lost. Lost in your imagination, lost in dreaming big, lost in daydreaming. These are all great and I encourage them! They will actually help keep you from feeling lost. I love, love, love daydreaming and dreaming big. I would much rather talk about all of the crazy things I want to accomplish than the day to day of bills and homework. Thinking we need to add that as the 5th step! Get Lost! How ironic is that? The fifth step of not getting lost is to get lost! 

5. Get lost! Lost in your love for your dream. Lost in your big brain and beautiful thoughts. Lost in comfy clothes and hot coffee. Lost in a day of nothing but writing down all of your goals and things you’re grateful for. Oh my goodness, I just get excited writing and talking about this step. It is my favorite! I think I might do this today, try to only talk about amazing ideas, things we are thankful for, what we want to accomplish. Ahhh!!! I hope you are as excited as I am about this, or maybe it is just my coffee. 

Okay my darlings. I have been talking at you long enough! Please know, it is okay if you are feeling lost, were on track and then got lost, are lost and need help finding your way, it is all okay! I am always here to help you! We can figure it out together. Please know, my passion for helping you find your nudge and make sure you don’t ignore it any longer will never get lost. I know that is what I am designed to do! Call me, message me, follow me, or try the steps above! We can do this. I mean seriously, if I can, anyone can! Remember, I have Chronic Lateness Disorder. LOL. 

Maybe you are ready to take this journey and start taking massive action to reach your potential or you could be trying to decide. Either way, I am so excited to have you here! My soul is on fire to help you! Just a reminder that if you like this podcast, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and tell a friend about it too! Connect with me on instagram or FaceBook at Something Better, My Darling, or if you’d like to see me and my kiddos and fur baby, you can find me at Mandi Lanae! This is Something Better, My Darling. Thank you for listening. Make today great, my darlings!