Vulnerability

This episode was suppose to be about all of the hard stuff covered in week one. But, like most plans, this one got a little derailed. Don’t get me wrong vulnerability is definitely hard, and it is necessary for today. Take a listen to find out why this topic is of special importance for today.

Podcast Transcript

Welcome back to the Something Better, My Darling podcast. I am here to help women find their purpose without compromising their values, and ultimately reaching their full potential. Whether you are struggling with self worth, confidence, or lack of taking action, this is for you!  I am so excited you are here! I can’t wait to get to know you!

You can do more with surrender than control. I saw that online somewhere, I am sure it was Facebook or Instagram, but it hit home. As humans, we love, love, love to be in control. In fact, when things start to get out of control we get stressed and frantically try to get back in control. Sometimes in unhealthy ways. In my faith, I have learned that letting go and letting ‘Jesus take the wheel’ as Carrie Underwood would say, is the most amazing and freeing feeling in the world. That being said….I am having to practice this everyday in my current season, because things just aren’t going the way I, yes I said I, want them to go. LOL. I seriously think God just laughs at me most of the time and wonders why I have to make it so hard. I get frustrated with my children for not listening to me or believing me, I cannot imagine how God feels with me sometimes. No, most days! Anyway…right now. Why is control so hard for me? First let me say that this podcast was supposed to be about week one of the journey, and it still is, but with a twist. In the first week of the 40-day journey the daily work is all about hard stuff, icky stuff and clearing out the cobwebs in our hearts and minds so we can have a fresh start. Fear, forgiveness, self-limiting beliefs and memories are all wrapped in a neat little package of week one. Absolutely each one of those could be its own podcast topic and they will be. I just decided that as I was working on this podcast. LOL. For today I am talking about something that needs to be addressed because it is SO hard. Maybe the hardest. It is vulnerable. Being vulnerable. I can feel my anxiety kicking in even as I say the word. Vulnerability comes in so many different ways and situations and most often we don’t like being vulnerable or we feel the most vulnerable in the times that we’ve been hurt the most. Or had bad experiences in. Relationships. Many of us don’t like to be completely vulnerable in relationships because it COULD, COULD open us up for hurt. So, in our minds. In our self-protecting, our effort to CONTROL the relationship or situation, we keep our walls up and are NOT vulnerable. At work we might not ever voice our opinion because that would make us vulnerable to rejection, looking silly, or feeling dumb. In business we don’t talk about the mistakes we make because we are successful…right? Like no one successful didn’t do it right at some point in their lives. There are so many analogies or sayings that go along with trying and not giving up. However, my favorite has nothing to do with business or relationships. LOL. It is about learning to walk. When a baby or toddler is learning to walk, they don’t give up. They just keep trying and trying until one day, they are walking. At that age, the idea or concept of giving up isn’t in them…yet. Meaning giving up is a learned behavior. So if we learned it, we can unlearn it. Or reprogram our minds to how we think about giving up. How we think about being vulnerable. It is a good thing. Being vulnerable allows us to grow and develop –  to experience relationships (romantic, family, friends, work) at a much deeper level. Today I am feeling especially vulnerable and honestly, I debated about putting this out there. But then I looked at my values and saw the words ‘authentic, real, raw…’ and knew I had to talk about it today. If I didn’t, I was not being true to myself and that is not okay anymore. LOL. 

Today. Today I feel out of control. Today I am vulnerable because for the past several weeks I have been working like a crazy lady to get my business up and running. Today is the start of the first summer journey! I wish I was saying I was feeling vulnerable because tonight at 7pm I was launching a zoom with 20 amazing women ready to take back their lives and live up to their full potential. Today I wish I was saying I was vulnerable because workbooks and ‘make up’ kits were mailed out and I hope there were no typos. Heck, today I wish I was saying I was feeling vulnerable because I was going to the pool in a bikini and people were going to see my mom-tummy and chunky thighs. But none of those are it. Today…I am vulnerable and feeling out of control because I am NOT holding a zoom tonight with 20 amazing ladies. I’m not even having a zoom with 5 or 10 amazing ladies. I am not having one at all. Because….no one. Not one single lady registered or signed up for my journey. This, this makes me very, very vulnerable. This makes me feel out of control. This makes me question myself. All of those ‘hard things’ from week one are flooding back in like a tsunami…of the most epic proportions. Want to talk about self-limiting beliefs. Woofta. I have them today. Want to talk about fear. Okay…let’s do that. LOL. Everything. Literally everything from week one is on my heart and mind today. During my Miracle Morning walk I had to stop, take several deep breaths and reassure myself it would be okay. Remind myself that my purpose is written and I will fulfill my purpose. Every morning I read the 40 verses I have written on my notecards from when I read “The Purpose Driven Life,” by Rick Warren, and on the top of that stack is something Rick wrote in his book. That every day we are being Tested, living in something Temporary, or Trusting. Today, I am being tested to trust and guess what this is temporary!! I hit all three. LOL. So yes, I am feeling very vulnerable today, but I wanted to let you know that, and to let you all know it is okay. We will all have times like today. Where it doesn’t go ‘our way’ or we feel out of control. But it is okay! I put myself in this position of starting a business and being vulnerable because I know, with certainty, that this IS what I am designed to do. I sort of don’t like the saying that nothing amazing is easy, but it is true. LOL. So while this part of MY journey is not easy, I still love it because it is mine and I get to live out my vulnerability with you. I’m like the baby learning to walk here…today I fell down and scraped my knee, bumped my head, and bit my lip. But God willing, I get a tomorrow, and I will show up for you the way I need to. The way I want to. And that is being vulnerable. Authentic, real, raw, positive, supportive, faithful, and my list goes on. I saw it all the time. I am here for you. To serve you, and I hope that my vulnerability today helps you in some way to know that it is okay. Even if it isn’t easy. It is okay! Not fine. LOL. But okay!   

Maybe you are ready to take this journey and start taking massive action to reach your potential or you could be trying to decide. Either way, I am so excited to have you here! My soul is on fire to help you! If you’d like to join me on a journey, visit somethingbettermydarling.com and click on ‘give me 40 days!’ to sign up for a summer or fall journey! Connect with me on instagram or FaceBook at Something Better, My Darling, or if you’d like to see me and my kiddos and fur baby, you can find me at Mandi Lanae! This is Something Better, My Darling. Thank you for listening. Make today great, my darlings!