Headspace

The actual definition of the word ‘headspace’ doesn’t really match what I call my headspace. I LOVE MY HEADSPACE. Yes, I’m yelling because it is that important to me and I want you to all have it too! In this podcast I walk through how to identify what is taking up your headspace, how to get more of it, and what to do when you get it!

Podcast Transcript

Welcome back to the Something Better, My Darling podcast. I am here to help women find their purpose without compromising their values, and ultimately reaching their full potential. Whether you are struggling with self worth, confidence, or lack of taking action, this is for you!  I am so excited you are here! I can’t wait to get to know you!

If you’ve listened to my past podcasts you should have most of the background on me and why I believe with all of my heart and soul in helping women find and reach their full potential without compromising their values. Today I want to talk about one of my favorite things! HEADSPACE!! Come to find out, the definition in the English dictionary is not at all how I define headspace. HAHAHA. According to dictionary.com, headspace is “empty space left above the contents of a closed jar, can, or other container” or “headroom.” Headroom resonates a little closer to how I use this word, but not quite. To me, headspace is the amount of room in my brain that is opened up when I am not obsessing over something that is not worth my time and effort. Something that I cannot control. I started using the word headspace after I had some. LOL. When I was dating Switzerland Sven I never worried about when I was going to see him or talk to him, I always knew. What that allowed me to do was think about so many other things! Amazing things that I didn’t even realize I needed to be focusing on or thinking about. I feel in love with my headspace and my capacity to learn, think, and grow. After Switzerland Sven disappeared, yes, I missed him and mourned what I thought it was going to be, but I missed my headspace too. I wanted that back so badly. Then….l realized I could have my headspace! It was up to me to make whatever changes necessary to stay in my current state of mind, my current euphoria. Here is how to identify what is taking up your headspace, how to get your headspace under control, and what to do when you feel old habits creeping in. 

1. Step One. You need to identify what is taking up your headspace now. For one day I want you to write down every hour what you’ve been thinking about. I know this might seem extreme, but sort of like a food log, I need you to log your thoughts. At the end of the day, look at what themes you see for your thoughts. There will be some themes that you can’t lose, like making sure you have your kids in the right place, work items, budget, etc…but if any ONE of these is taking too much of your time and headspace, we need to adjust. Oftentimes the item or theme that is taking the majority of our headspace is that one thing that your mind is constantly wandering to when you are daydreaming. If you are sitting in a meeting and start to lose focus, where does your mind go? You can budget your thinking time about a task just like you can your money, but first you need to know where your thinking time is being spent, just like your money. This is why logging your thoughts for one day is important. 
   
2. Step Two. Look at your thought log and determine if you are spending an appropriate amount of time on each item or if you are obsessing over the details and budget accordingly. Categorize your thought log and add up the time. I recommend general categories: kids, work, family, relationships, faith, whatever those buckets are for you. This will give you a clear picture of exactly where you are spending your time and how you might need to adjust. You might be thinking…umm….what is the appropriate amount of time. LOL. That depends…If you have thought about the kids’ schedule for the week and you have it all in your calendar, you can be done with that. That might take 15 minutes. Great. That is an appropriate amount of time. Now, if you continue to worry if something will change or if the weather will impact a practice schedule or if a rideshare will cancel…and you’ve spent another 20 minutes on that, that is not an appropriate amount of time! You can’t control that, so do NOT let it take up your valuable headspace.   
   
3. Step 3: Identifying how to fill your valuable headspace. Now that you know how to free up your mind, what should you do with all of this extra brain power? This is the perfect time to stop and listen. Don’t try too hard to think of something, just be silent and see what comes to you. If sitting in silence is a challenge for you, What is that one thing, or those few things that you are always saying, ‘if I had more time…,’ or maybe you have a nudge that you’ve been ignoring and now you have some time to stop and think about what your nudge might look like. And this doesn’t have to be anything huge. This could be as simple as wanting to redo a room, or clear a closet, anything that you’ve been neglecting. Just start taking action. Once you get use to the new cadence you’ll find more and more headspace to work with. 
   
4. Step 4: Start each morning with a clear intention of setting the tone for the day. I would say that growing up I was probably a morning person. I was not one of those children who slept in until noon or even 11 for that matter. It was generally easy for me to get up in the morning. This has helped me. I will mention this book and process as much as I can…The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. It is a quick read and the process has truly changed my life. The concept if you are not familiar is based around getting up earlier so you can accomplish everything you generally put off during the day. His methodology is based around the term SAVERS. Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, Scribe or Journaling. This process has allowed me to continue to cultivate my headspace, and provide me with clarity on the direction I need to be headed. It also allows me time to take action on the idea and thoughts I have allowed room for. The Miracle Morning allowed me to write the workbook for my business, to write these podcasts, and to create additional content. I promise you will get addict to them and want to find ways to add more time to your morning. 
   
5. Step 5: When obsessing sets in, feel it, then let it go. Old habits die hard, and even after you think you’ve conquered them, they try to creep back in. Don’t ignore them when they try to do this…it would be like suppressing a feeling. Acknowledge what is happening, feel it, and then let it go. You might need to work through it a little bit, and that is okay, but do that, and then let it go. Let me give you an example of this. You know that for the better part of 5 years I was obsessed with finding the perfect partner, to the point where it took up way too much of my time and guess what…didn’t work. LOL. In many cases I was left feeling empty and unloved. There are times when being alone is hard, and the idea of searching and finding that perfect person comes back to me. I’m not saying that looking or wanting a partner is bad, because it isn’t. However, it is an easy rabbit hole for me to go down. When I feel this starting to get triggered for me, I have to pause and ask myself why I am trying to control that situation, why am I feeling like I ‘need’ this, and what outcome would fill my bucket? After I work through those, I let it go because I know that at the right time, God will put the right person in my life, which is a perfect compliment to me and my children. I can’t control it, so I need to let it go. 
   
6. Step 6: Enjoy and love your headspace! Embrace your headspace and everything it can offer you. I promise you that this too will become addicting and intoxicating. I safeguard my headspace closely, and you should too! You will be amazed at how many wonderful ideas are floating around in your soul and mind when you make the space for them! 

One last thought…if you’ve ever seen the movie, “Eat, Pray, Love,” headspace reminds me of the scene where Julie Roberts character is in India and Richard Jenkins’ character tells her that if she can just get out of her head a wave, a gush of love and freedom would come in. That is a paraphrase. But that is exactly what headspace is! I can’t wait to hear about everything you accomplish with your new headspace. 

Maybe you are ready to take this journey and start taking massive action to reach your potential or you could be trying to decide. Either way, I am so excited to have you here! My soul is on fire to help you! If you’d like to join me on a journey, visit somethingbettermydarling.com and click on ‘give me 40 days!’ to sign up for a summer or fall journey! Connect with me on Instagram or FaceBook at Something Better, My Darling, or if you’d like to see me and my kiddos and fur baby, you can find me at Mandi Lanae! This is Something Better, My Darling. Thank you for listening. Make today great, my darlings!