Yes, I realize that I wrote a book and a work book, but I would not classify myself as a ‘writer.’ This means that instead of blog posts, you get podcasts! The first podcast is about how I spent the first 40 years of my life being ‘nice to a fault’ and how that shaped who I use to be, and what I had to overcome to be here today, helping you! My soul is on fire to help women reach their full potential without compromising their values. You can listen to all podcasts on Spotify or Anchor!
Transcript of the Podcast
Hello and welcome to the first podcast for Something Better, My Darling! You might be wondering what in the heck Something Better, My Darling is….first and foremost it is my passion and purpose. And that is to help women find their purpose without compromising their values, and ultimately reaching their full potential. I am so glad you are here! I can’t wait to get to know you!
First, let me give you a little bit of background on me. My name is Mandi. I’m a Mom of two busy children 9 and 11 and one fur baby, currently working a full time job as a director of marketing strategy and communications and trying to hold it all together. Like most of us? Right? Lol. But that is not really who I am. Those are just some of my roles. Who I am is actually much more complex. And there is a major difference in who I am today versus who I was a few short months ago. If someone would have told me in December of 2020 that I would be starting a business, writing a book, and helping women, I probably would have said, “I wish!” Oh man…little did I know what God had planned for me! But we are going to save some of that for the next podcast.
First, you really need to understand who I was for the past 40 years. In a nutshell, I was what I call ‘nice to a fault.’ This meant that I would compromise my own values, my own beliefs, my own morals, to keep the peace and make other people happy. People pleaser is a term you might be familiar with. I was always the nice girl growing up. The one who got along with all friend groups. I was Miss Congeniality at the local county fair for pete sake! I have great friends, was a cheerleader through high school, got good grades, and honestly never really noticed that I was a little heavier. I had great self confidence growing up.
Then, like so many of us, a few experiences started to alter my belief system. This example is so clear in my mind and it seems so silly. I was at a HS track meet and I was walking by myself. I met a group of boys and as they walked by, one of the boys looked at me and said, “woof!” That hurt. Until then, no one had really commented on my appearance. Well, my grandmother used to tell me I was big boned, but I didn’t know what that meant until I was older. The confidence I always had, started to deteriorate. I started to put more weight in what others thought of my appearance than what they thought about my mind and heart.
As I went through college I stayed busy, I didn’t really date, but I noticed that only the thin, super pretty girls had boyfriends. I wanted a boyfriend. And this is when being nice to a fault started to hurt me, without me really knowing it. I gave every one a chance. I tried my best to make everything work. I would always give in to their wishes because I wanted so badly for them to be happy with me. I get it, saying it outloud I realize how horrible this must sound, but I doubt I am the only female who has done this. And some might still be doing this. I was insecure. I was scared. I was vulnerable. I was too trusting. I was naive. I didn’t think I was good enough for some guys. I was so many things. Let me take a minute to say, I had some really awesome qualities too!! I was a great friend, very outgoing and people tend to gravitate towards me. It is just this one area with boys. With men that seemed to be such a struggle for me.
I went through college. I got married when I was a Junior in college to my first husband. We were married 4 years. I loved him very much. We will talk more about him later as well. We got divorced, I married my second husband very quickly, we had two children, and then divorced. I knew with my second marriage that I should not have said yes. Heck, I even called off the engagement for a period of time. I do not regret marrying him. I would not have my babies if I had not. However, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I didn’t want him to be embarrassed if I called the wedding off. He loved enough for both of us. And I did love him, just not the way a wife should love her husband. I know! I know!! It is much better to be upfront with people than to have them hurt in the long run. I get it! I do! But the old me always justified it and thought it was mean if I could not make it work. You would think after a second divorce I would have figured it out.Wrong. I then entered the dating scene. I don’t have to tell anyone who is currently dating or trying to date how exhausting it can be. And, my nice to fault kept on. Everyone who reached out to me on FB or a dating app if I was on one, I talked to. If they asked me out, I said yes. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, even if I wasn’t really attracted to them or excited about them. That wasn’t the case for everyone. I did meet some really great guys, they just were not the guys for me.
The nice to a fault carried through to my work and other relationships too. I didn’t like to rock the boat, so I’d always bend to make others happy. Not as much as I would in romantic relationships, but enough for me to look back and realize what I was doing. Being nice is not a bad thing! At all! However, being nice to the point where you start feeling bad about yourself, start doubting who you really are, is not a healthy place to be. And that is where I was. Key word here. WAS. Not anymore. And this is why there is Something Better, My Darling. Something Better for you. I finally listened to that nudge from God. I stopped listening to the self-limiting beliefs I had in my head. I surrendered. Our next episode will look at the catalyst for the change in my heart and mind. An event that may not seem major to some, but for me, it shook me to my core. I am so excited for each and every one of you listening to this. Maybe you are ready to take this journey and start taking massive action to reach your potential or you could be trying to decide. Either way, I am so excited to have you here! My soul is on fire to help you!
If you’d like to join me on a journey, visit somethingbettermydarling.com and click on ‘give me 40 days!’ to sign up for a summer of fall journey! Connect with me on instagram at somethingbetter my darling, or if you’d like to see me and my kiddos and fur baby, you can find me at mandi joyner! This is Something Better, My Darling. Thank you for listening, you’ll hear from me again! Bye!
Something Better, My Darling 